…a post for the newly engaged 

‘Going Bridal’ is the newest term coined for becoming a bridezilla; And trust us ladies, it’s not something you aspire to be.  Let’s face it, planning a wedding is planning the biggest party of your life and with that comes numerous details that may make you, um, just a tad bit crazy.  Adding a group of women to take part in those details is yes, a recipe for disaster.  But it doesn’t have to be.  There are many tips and tricks that we here at Fisher’s Tudor House truly believe will make your wedding stress –free (or at least less stressful) and without doubt, that fairytale you’ve always wanted.  We understand that your wedding really is YOUR BIG DAY and it should be.  But that also puts an exorbitant amount of pressure on you and your bridal party to strive for perfection which then results in tension, arguments, and sometimes one-less guest.  The only way we’ve really learned to pull it all off without a hitch was to first make mistakes (and oh, you’ll make them).   What’s great about mistakes is you learn not to repeat them.  Lucky for you, we’ve turned the five most common Bridezilla DOs into a list of bride DON’Ts.  Think of it as “How To Not Be A Bridezilla.” Yes, there is such a thing.

5. Don’t emphasize the wrong details.

Sure, picking your Maid of Honor is a special moment for both you and her, but announcing it through the bullhorn aka Facebook, Twitter, Google+, [insert social network here], draws attention to who you didn’t choose. And believe it or not, it certainly hurts feelings and puts unwanted tension into the mix.  Instead, plan a special dinner or get-together for each bridesmaid (just you and her) and take that time to ask them formally to be a part of your special day.  It makes the moment special for each one of them and they’ll remember it forever.  Paying for her meal? BONUS POINTS!

4.  Loosen up the reins on your CONTROL leash.

Yes, it’s YOUR day and ultimately, you (and your fiancé) should have the last word in the decision-making. But sometimes delegating tasks or letting someone else have a say is liberating.  Think of it as having one less thing to do to prepare or one less decision to make.  TRUST in the people you’ve chosen to help you.  After all, they are your support system and not just a sounding board.

Speaking of delegating tasks, learn to LOVE your wedding consultants.  It’s their job to serve you.  At Fisher’s Tudor House, Stephen is your man.  He’s our in-house wedding coordinator and is trained to walk you step-by-step through the process.  Whether you’re picking the room, menu, or even linens, Stephen will help match your style, budget, and size.  (SIGH OF RELIEF!)

But even the smallest of decisions can seem daunting and you might not be all about delegation. If you’re not ready to hand over the steering wheel then try something small like letting your bridal party have a say in the style of their dress, hair, makeup, or shoes.  This prevents you from seeming too bossy and gives your friends and family the freedom to be them while still looking polished.

3. ORGANIZATION. ORGANIZATION. ORGANIZATION.

Being organized when it comes to planning an event is an understatement.  But being an organized bride keeps you from ‘going bridal’–and that’s the mission ladies! Making a master list of tasks that need to be completed by a due date keeps your mind at ease and reminds you that you have things under control.  It breaks down a “big overwhelming job into small manageable missions” says We TV.  Research also says that physically “crossing out” a task on your ‘to-do’ list relieves stress (AMAZING!!!)

One way to remain in control and keep your guests organized is to use TECHNOLOGY TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.  Create a wedding website where guests can view your wedding reception location (Fisher’s Tudor House, of course!) including directions to and from the reception site.  You can also post things like your wedding engagement story, photos of special times in your relationship, an electronic guestbook, and even a ‘who’s who’ in your wedding party.  In addition, using mass e-mails or private mass messages on Facebook keeps everyone on the same page.  Just make sure you’re the voice of reason in these messages—not annoyance.

Have a “day of” itinerary.  Mapping out your wedding day for your bridal party on PAPER relieves you of the duty to “round up the troops” and make verbal announcements like yelling out, “IT’S TIME FOR PHOTOS!”  This may seem overbearing to some, but schedules keep people on target and on time—which keeps your Bridezilla moments at bay.  Trust us!

 2.  Be Realistic.

Three wedding gowns and 500 hand-made personalized favors are hardly realistic goals for the everyday bride.  And having the ROYAL wedding of the century has already been done.  So snap out of it! Perfection is a myth.  Truth is things will go wrong: people will be late, your uncle will be drunk, and best friends might be too pregnant to attend.  But keep in mind that things like seeing your groom’s face as you step onto the aisle or feeling the tightness of your father’s hug before he gives you away are the special moments you will remember 30 years from now, not the size of the salad plates or color of the church carpet.

Bachelorette parties and bridal showers are fun and exciting but keep in mind that it’s about having your family and friends present, not going bankrupt.  Cruising up and down the east coast in a limo or jet-setting to Vegas is always an option but keeping it close to home commemorates your wedding in the place where you fell in love or will be spending forever together. Fisher’s Tudor House offers the finest four-hour sit-down bridal showers with six rooms to choose from or a hot bachelorette party either in the Murder Mystery or restaurant, which both save you the cost of flights, limos, cooking, and cleaning.  It couldn’t be simpler!

1.    Remember to breathe.

Going “bridal” is a result of panicking and worrying that things might not work out just as you’ve always dreamt.  Relax.  They will turn out as they are meant to be.  And lucky for you, your wedding day is just Day 1 of a fabulous life together with your significant other……Remember?

While some claim Bridezillas are the definition of selfish, others might argue that they are thinking about everything else BUT themselves.  So take a moment to remember you need to be taken care of too, both physically and mentally.  Make a habit of doing deep breathing exercises and yoga in the early stages of wedding planning.  This will help you relax and have a clear mind.  In addition to regular exercising, take up a new hobby like kickboxing or swimming right before the big day.  It will relieve stress and, ready for this? You’ll end up looking like a million bucks by the time you slip on that dress! Now if that’s not incentive, I don’t know what is.

Sarah from Jenkintown, PA had this to say about her perceived status as a NON-BRIDEZILLA, “With so many details, something is bound to not end up as planned.  So you have to expect it and you won’t be surprised.”  Her bridesmaids say she is the calmest bride they’ve ever seen and are not only impressed but say it’s that much more enjoyable to take part in her special day.  So, take her advice ladies and our’s, and you are bound to have that fairytale wedding—with a happily ever after. We at Fisher’s Tudor House promise.

Now, Groomzillas?  They exist too… but that’s a whole other story.